Whenever Jenn & Brad are photographed together, rumors fly that they may be getting back together. It seems like of all the Hollywood couples, fans are holding out for them to reunite.
While married to Jenn, Brad Pitt did fall for Angelina Jolie during the filming of Mr & Mrs Smith, causing heartbreak and disappointment for Jen. Something that is sadly all too familiar to her.
In my work with couples, many people are surprised to discover that well over 70% of what goes wrong between a couple comes from the family of origin.
After Angelina and Brad broke up, I think fans started to hope these two would find their way back together. I mean, just look at how they look at each other, even years later!
Why are heartbreak and disappointment so familiar to Jennifer Aniston?
Jennifer Aniston’s famous father from daytime soap opera, Days of Our Lives, John Aniston who played Victor Kiriakis, was the first to create heartbreak and disappointment in Jenn’s life.
When Jennifer was a young girl, he’d walked out on his family, focusing on his career, leaving her in the care of her mother, Nancy Dow. Jennifer was estranged from her dad for most of her childhood.
Despite Jennifer eventually reconnecting with her father, her relationship with her mother was even more tumultuous. The two were sadly estranged for years, including not inviting her Mom to her wedding to Brad Pitt.
She continued to speak about her mother after her death in 2016, telling Elle magazine that her mom had left her with “deep wounds”.
Our earliest relationships form a blueprint that still lives in the body for how we unconsciously expect love will unfold. You could think of parents as the template that sets the stage for all future relationships.
Unresolved “stuff” with our parents plays out again in our intimate relationships.
Jennifer repeated the pain in her early life with Brad when he left her for “the other woman”. Just like her Dad left her as a young girl to focus his time and attention on his career. The scars of not getting enough of his time, attention, support or love become the heartbreak she lived out with Brad.
The pain of not being able to trust her mom would be there for her, left her feeling alone and that she couldn’t count on the one person who was most important to her. This was also echoed when she found herself alone, without Brad.
Jennifer’s subsequent relationships ended in disappointment following a similar pattern with Vince Vaughn and John Mayer, each relationship lasting only a year. She was quoted in an interview sharing that she would ‘love a relationship‘ and ‘craves support‘ after staying single since her second divorce from Justin Theroux.
Without a strong loving connection with our first love, our parents, we are left as adults craving support and longing for love.
The relationship we have with our mom shows up when we bond and how we navigate separations. If the experience Jennifer has with her mom is:
‘I can’t count on you to be there for me’ or
‘I can’t trust you’ or
‘It’s not emotionally safe to be close to you, Mom’
We end up repeating those experiences over and over again in our loving relationships. That’s why in the work I do with couples, I’m curious about the relationship template your parents created that lives on within you. Isn’t it eye-opening when you know that well over 70% of what goes wrong between a couple comes from the family of origin.
As you look at your relationship today what aspects of the past might be repeating for you?
Essentially we want to understand love, uncovering how love gets blocked … in our relationships, inside families, inside ourselves.
Thanks for reading … with love,