Your most challenging relationship right now holds secret meaning for what you need to see, but can’t.
Let me share with you what’s going on behind the scenes. Why you may say to yourself – “I’ve always been let down in my relationships, I guess this is how it will always be”
The truth is, we fall in love with the familiar. That click that happens that has you lean in closer to that potential partner, it is revealing a deeper dynamic at play.
- Your emotionally distant dad becomes your workaholic, always traveling partner.
- Your highly critical mom keeps you on high alert for anything that remotely sounds like criticism from your partner.
- Your alcoholic parent becomes your numb or distracted partner.
Having you relive feelings of “I can’t count on you to be there for me” or
“I don’t feel supported in this relationship”
Headlines in Time magazine, Science Journal, The New York Times are all exploring the impacts of intergenerational trauma. It’s time for you to consider how all this research can make your love life easier.
Epigenetics studies show us that the beliefs, traumas and experiences we carry within us are handed down to us from previous generations of our own families.
The challenges we face in life are not ours alone, they are shared across multiple generations. How your parent’s marriage went or whether they stayed together or separated has more of an influence on your love life than previously understood.
Our way of loving comes from how we were loved and cared for as children.
Taking the time to understand why you need what you do in your loving relationships, not only brings you closer to building self-awareness, it makes it much less likely for you to repeat painful patterns as if on autopilot.
When we’re having challenges in our love relationships, it’s easy to place your focus on wanting them to change. But the truth is better relationships — of all kinds — begin with you.
Don’t let another failed relationship destroy your confidence, your bank account, or the trust you have in choosing healthy friendships and relationships.
Invest time in understanding the impact of your family imprint so that you have more connection, ease and love in your relationships today.
Take a moment to consider that Your Life Leaves Clues. Reflect on:
- your primary complaints about your current relationship
or the last relationships that you may still be healing from
- jot down a few adjectives related to the unresolved hurts with your parents
These 2 lists often have similar themes and this is where your resolution is.